Destiny

A connection connects the two different worlds together. It connects you and me, him and her, father and son, mother and daughter. Even the Earth has to connect with other planets in the solar system, toward the Milky Way and even beyond the whole universe. In Catfish and mandala, which has written by Andrew X. Pham, he applies the sweet connection between words by using hyphenations for each chapter. He describes the journey he has traveled in Vietnam and tried to find his Vietnamese root. There are many memories while he travels in Vietnam. Some are happy, and some are sad. Together they inspire him to write the book. Each of the hyphenations describes the whole view of each chapter. He uses them to identify two different words that have totally different meanings and combine them together. Hyphenating creates another word that has a deep meaning and definition. Each of the hyphenated titles has different meanings to Andrew. There are three significant hyphenations in the book, which are very emotional, special, and powerful.

Beggar-Graceis one of the important chapter titles with hyphenation. While Andrew is in Saigon and witnesses how a girl beggar with a baby on her hips is going around begging for food and money; he ends up with internal and psychological feeling inside him.

Beggar-Grace

I was her. She, me. She was Trieu. Could be my sister Chi.

Could be my own daughter … No difference. The shoes to be

filled were the same. [Q] (107)

He feels miserable and sorry for his own people who are trying to make a living. He is thinking the difference between the girl and him is just very small. By a snap of finger, his life and her life could be exchanged and switched around. Seeing her, he can see himself in her. He feels sorry for her and for him. For him, it’s because at first his cousin tells him he cannot help her and the baby on her hips escape the hunger for a night. There is moral and inner feeling he tried to fight. So he tries to run after the poor girl and gives her a little mercy by giving his money to her. That is why I like the title of this chapter, Beggar-Grace. In another quote, Andrew shows his feeling about Saigon, Vietnam:

“My Saigon was a whore, a saint, an infanticidal

maniac. She sold her body to any taker, dreams of a

better future… She hoped for a better tomorrow, hoped

for a goodness.” [Q] (109)

He shows how the Vietnamese people, mostly “Saigoners”, who are willing to sell their bodies to any foreigner, wish to have a better future in a better place. For me, I think the problem began with the Vietnam War. Vietnamese women sold their bodies and souls to the foreign men. They wanted to hide the truth and to run away from the difficult life they had. The stereotype they always have upon the foreigner is the fact of marrying a person who is from different country, ethnic, religion, and language can be beneficial. They think they will have a better future, better life and be richer than the life they are having right now in Vietnam. Overall, the Beggar-Grace title signals the readers what the chapter will talk about, all the struggles Andrew will have to experience when he sees beggars, poor and homeless people on the streets.

Father-Son

Moving on to another hyphenation he uses in the book, it is the chapter, which talks about love between the father and the son. Father-son is the title of the chapter in which Andrew also uses hyphenation. Father means a male birth giver, and son means the means his male child. There are different perspective between the father and son. But together, they join in to make a better part. The connection between father and son will be stronger and they can understand each other more.

I didn’t know better. It is the Vietnamese way. You beat

your children because you love them. You beat them to show

them the right way to live. You beat them to let them know

they are important to you. [Q] (320)

Both sides of the hyphenation are significant. They describe each of them, father and son. The father, especially a Vietnamese father, doesn’t usually show the love in the soft way like the mother. He rarely uses the words “I love you” to his children. He doesn’t show it by the words, he only shows it by his actions. It’s the same with Andrew’s father who hit him when he was only eleven and beat Chi until he was arrested. When his child gets on the wrong road and is very disobedient, the father hits his son/daughter just only to teach them how to be a good person. At the young age, most of the children can’t understand why their father beat them so hard. It’s because he loves them so much; he tries to show them the right way. At the children grow older and become one of the parents, they will understand how hard it is to be the parents, to be a father. They will understand why their father beat them so hard when they are disobedient. Most parents don’t want their children to be bad. They just want the best for their children.

In another paragraph, Andrew explains how his father is a caring person. It’s because he has some many things going on in his mind; he can not describe and explain how his feeling is like. However he never let the worse result appears. This is what Andrew likes about his father. He always wants the best things for his children [P]. (321)

Viet-Kieu

Last but not least, the hyphenation that I like about his book is about Viet-Kieu. “Viet” means Vietnamese person, “Kieu” means foreigner. Depends how the speaker sounds, Viet-Kieu can be really a mean meaning or it can be just a normal meaning means a Vietnamese who lives outside the country and just comes back to Vietnam for a visit. Andrew friend tells him that foreign Vietnamese like Andrew are just visitors who live in another country. Even though they are born in that country, they can’t ever be the same as the native people who lie there. Andrew tries to defend himself that all the foreign Vietnamese like himself are not the visitors, but they are the host who live there forever. He tries to prove that either they are Vietnamese or not, which living in different country, can be treated the same. His friend still wants to hear that if Andrew can see himself as the citizen of the country he lives in right now. No matter what, Andrew confidently says he does [P]. (327)

Looking at a differently perspective, Andrew wants to hear about how his own Vietnamese people see the Viet-Kieu people like him. His friend explains to him that there are people whom name Andrew and his people like a long-disappearing sibling. He tells Andrew that staying in Western countries have made his own skin color whitened, lost his mother tongue. He has touched the foreign ladies, and he might not interest in his own native ladies. American meals feed him so he is way tougher than his own Vietnamese people are. He and his Viet-Kieu people practice their muscles to become stronger, so they use their time very useful not like most Vietnamese people who wander around and try to make time pass. Then there will be the time the Viet-kieu people can no longer have their original root in the blood. They will be just like one of the foreigner. They are forever gone and disappeared from their own country and people [P]. (330) These sentences are very powerful and visible to understand and feel. It is like they can go deep into your heart and mind.

Me

For most of the chapters and their titles, some of them can be related to my situations and feelings. From Beggar-Grace to Viet-Kieu, from a girl beggar to the Viet-Kieu feeling, I can feel it all. In Beggar-Grace, I have experienced the same situation, but it was much sadder. A Vietnamese lottery seller, who is handicapped, jumped out right in front of my motorcycle and busted out his mad feeling where many of the people who made fun of him, kicked him out, didn’t let him sell the lottery tickets. He was very sad and angry. He asked me why and how they could do that to him. He asked me if they were condemning him to die, to be a beggar instead of selling lottery tickets. It was very emotional and sad. I cried for my own people and I was angry for those who have educated and gone to school, but they just act like those who never gone to school or even much worse than that. Some of the people who can’t come to school and learn; they even have a better heart and kindness than them. For Viet-Kieu, it is like Andrew can read my mind and feeling. Being a Vietnamese-American, there are differences, similarities, confuses, and balances for being in the middle of the two differences, Vietnamese and American. For me, sometimes it’s hard to identify which side I belong to. At home, I always speak Vietnamese, but when I get out, go to school and hang out with friends, I begin to wear a mask which I speak and act just like an American. At home, my family and I eat Vietnamese food. “Nuoc mam” is the most important sauce which Vietnamese people cannot live without it. But when I go outside, I eat hamburger, KFC, and use ketchup and mayonnaise. At home, I always respect older people. Going out, I always act bold with my friends. I don’t usually show the softer side of me.

Catfish and Mandala is a great book. I felt in love with it because there are so many similarities between Andrew’s experiences and my own. By using the hyphen to connect the two different words together, it is like bringing two different worlds and combine them to make a greater universe. These hyphenations are very important to him and to me, especially to the Vietnamese-American people. It helps us to remember all those sad and great memories we have experienced both in Vietnam and the foreign country we live in. It clears out all the wonders we have within us about how our own people feel about us Viet-Kieu, and how the foreigners feel about us and about the Asian invasion. Overall, Catfish and Mandala is a great memoir. All the hyphenations have done a great job by connecting different words and together they have sweet connection and memories.