Destiny

  Being able to write a spoken word piece, I have to have a lot of experiences about what I witness, hear, touch and feel. Tears started to fall when I was reading Catfish and Mandala by Andrew X. Pham in Beggar-Grace chapter. I read through the part where Andrew described the beggar girl and how she was trying to make a living by begging people money and food. From that point, all the pictures and scenes about a poor lottery seller started coming back to me. All the sad stories I got to hear from this little poor man. My tears came out when I start to think about him, about the beggars, and all other poor lottery sellers in Vietnam. So that was reason that brings up to me the idea of doing the spoken word piece. I want to speak out for these poor people that do not have or cannot have courage and chance to speak up about how they feel. I want to make a different even thought it’s not that big and might not help them much. However, I want to change the view that those people like us who think they are better than any one else. I want to make a spoken word piece that can go deep into the listeners’ heart and even after I finish speaking, the feeling and emotions can still stay in their heart and soul.

             Even though that Andrew wrote the memoir, not a spoken word piece, he had many strong voices to speak up and describe the life of the Vietnamese beggars. I cannot write a book, I cannot have writing talent like him, but when I do the spoken word piece, I want to make it as strong as the words in his book. Even it’s not long and thick like his book but it’s just a small poem, I want my words can be spread out from ears to ears. I want the listeners can have the same deep feelings and emotion like I have. It all started when I came back to visit my hometown in Vietnam. I was driving with my mom by motorcycle. As we approached to another street, an old lottery seller came right in front of our motorcycle. At first, I thought he just tried to sell us lottery tickets. However, he started to burst into tears. He expressed his mad feeling where many people, especially the young, immature people, who made fun of him, kicked him, and did not let him sell the lottery tickets. He asked us: “How can people treat me like that? Is it because I am handicapped? Are they trying to make me feel worse? Why can’t they leave me alone and let me make a living here?” He asked me if they were condemning him to die, to be a beggar instead of selling lottery tickets. It was very emotional and sad. I was crying for these poor things and I was angry for those who have educated and gone to school, but they just act like the whole bunch of those who have never gone to school or even much worse than that. Perhaps these are the beginning steps for me to start my spoken word piece. As I was writing my word piece, I don’t have to search for all the memories. Instead, they started to show up by themselves like a river of words.

            Difficulties start to appear as I go deeper to the word piece. Somehow I want to make it to become strong and powerful spoken word piece with big words. However, when I started to rehearse the speech, some of the big words made my tongue twisted and I couldn’t pronounce them right. Another thing was at the beginning; I accidentally made it like an unofficial poet style. But I knew I have to write it just like other poems. So I tried to use forms in written poetry and forms in spoken word as many as I can. Finally, I ended up using many repetitions. I found it awkward to use a lot of them but Mr. Hattori made me realize maybe this is just my style of writing poem. Finally, as I went on with my poem, I tried to add a little bit of simile and assimilation at the end.           

            After I finished my spoken word piece and got advises from my two professors, I could see that my word piece has three voices: one is the narrator’s, once is the beggar’s/lottery seller’s, and last one is the antagonist’s. It is quite uncomfortable for me to act 3 voices on stage. It might make the speech can not go smoothly and more emotionally. So I might try to perform with my hat in different wearing positions. I hope it’ll go perfectly well when I perform. I never perform such an emotional speech like this on stage, so it’ll be a little bit awkward and uncomfortable. But anyway, I have to make it perfect and powerful. In the other hand, I made a slideshow that can go along during my speech. I used my laptop to create the window maker but unfortunately my laptop had Window 7, so I could not expand or shorten the time of each picture in order to match them with each of my sentences. I had to go back to the old Window and try to make it. Sadly, I still think the slideshow and my speech aren’t that good enough, so I try to practice with my performance with many voices and when there is the right time to raise the voice, to lower the voice, to pause, to fasten. I try to practice as many times as I can and I think I am ready to give out the words that will stay in the audiences’ heart and soul.

            This spoken word piece can give me another new experience in writing and speaking in English. By using the figurative languages to give out the speech can really show different meanings. As far as I study in my class, these skills that I never thought I would be using them become really useful and powerful when I give out my spoken word piece performance.